Not Alone
It's been a long time since I last wrote. It has been difficult to find the time to be alone let alone write.
The past few months have been an incredible journey. With the privilege of leading a group of students alongside an amazing friend and fellow leaders I have had an memorable first semester during my second year at Summit Pacific College. It has been full of opportunities and wonderful moments to minister to our summit community and the communities surrounding our beautiful mountain.
Yet this semester has not come without it's set of troubles. I began the year so full of fear and an overwhelming lie of inadequacy that has seemed to ring in my ears through the past few months. Partnered with these is the feeling of failure and loneliness that has raked my thoughts in the past few weeks.
There have been many events to have brought these up and whatever it is that brings these feelings up for you, we have all felt them before.
As Christmas approaches I want to take the time to remind those of you reading this who are feeling alone, scared and like you have failed that you are not unheard. In the last few days my mind has been swarming with questions and wanderings that have led me to feel broken and alone, these thoughts attacking me and draining me. Trying to keep up the Christmas spirit I have done everything I usually do around christmas time, but there has been a sad lonley emptiness that still floats above me like a cloud.
I have had to remind myself that the joy of the season is not found in the lights and trimmings, music and perfect gifts. I have had to remind myself that I am not alone. I have been finding peace and comfort on my knees and in times reading his word. No matter the doubts that have been thrown in my face by the enemy and the loneliness that seems overwhelming, in pouring out my heart to him I am able to see past the lies and see how HE loves me. In the midst of my confusion and hurt I have a friend who wants to hear it all and speak life into me.
On my knees I find my joy. Speaking to the one who's name is incomparable because of the power it holds. There is no friend like Jesus. When we feel like we have no other and that we are fighting alone and that we are failures, remember that he is our best friend and that he sees the tears that fall, and he wants to hear your heart.
This Christmas remember that no matter who you are, what you have done, or where you are He is with you. Emmanuel God with us. Look to him and remember how He loves you. He has not left you. He is leading and guiding you, most of all holding you near to his heart. You are not alone.
The past few months have been an incredible journey. With the privilege of leading a group of students alongside an amazing friend and fellow leaders I have had an memorable first semester during my second year at Summit Pacific College. It has been full of opportunities and wonderful moments to minister to our summit community and the communities surrounding our beautiful mountain.
Yet this semester has not come without it's set of troubles. I began the year so full of fear and an overwhelming lie of inadequacy that has seemed to ring in my ears through the past few months. Partnered with these is the feeling of failure and loneliness that has raked my thoughts in the past few weeks.
There have been many events to have brought these up and whatever it is that brings these feelings up for you, we have all felt them before.
As Christmas approaches I want to take the time to remind those of you reading this who are feeling alone, scared and like you have failed that you are not unheard. In the last few days my mind has been swarming with questions and wanderings that have led me to feel broken and alone, these thoughts attacking me and draining me. Trying to keep up the Christmas spirit I have done everything I usually do around christmas time, but there has been a sad lonley emptiness that still floats above me like a cloud.
I have had to remind myself that the joy of the season is not found in the lights and trimmings, music and perfect gifts. I have had to remind myself that I am not alone. I have been finding peace and comfort on my knees and in times reading his word. No matter the doubts that have been thrown in my face by the enemy and the loneliness that seems overwhelming, in pouring out my heart to him I am able to see past the lies and see how HE loves me. In the midst of my confusion and hurt I have a friend who wants to hear it all and speak life into me.
On my knees I find my joy. Speaking to the one who's name is incomparable because of the power it holds. There is no friend like Jesus. When we feel like we have no other and that we are fighting alone and that we are failures, remember that he is our best friend and that he sees the tears that fall, and he wants to hear your heart.
This Christmas remember that no matter who you are, what you have done, or where you are He is with you. Emmanuel God with us. Look to him and remember how He loves you. He has not left you. He is leading and guiding you, most of all holding you near to his heart. You are not alone.
"Then will I go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight. I will praise you with the harp, O God, my God. Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my savior and my God."
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