Pictures

The picture was not a choice - it has been ingrained in us since the day we were born. Growing up we were all asked what we wanted to be when we grew up. We dreamed about the places we would live, the pets we would have, the talents we would master. As we got older our dreams changed, our passions developed and we obediently followed the strategic lines that led us down our career paths. Along the way we painted a picture in our minds answering the question “where do you see yourself in ten years”. Our parents, teachers, family and friends have all encouraged us to look forward to the future, paint the picture and live it out. Meanwhile some of us learn to be discreetly miserable when the picture does not turn out as planned. 

 Paintbrush to canvas, excitement at my finger tips I patiently stroked out planes and maps, music and teaching, countries and non profits, marriage and children…all for a particular time. As the years went by I allowed myself to adjust the timeline, but the dreams remained the same. I made every effort to remain in control of the picture. With great dedication and intention the brush continued its work with gentle and long strokes. Lost in passion and innocence I was not ready for the interruption that thrusted my hand into a sharp detour from a perfectly detailed brand new beginning. In seconds my well thought out masterpiece was suddenly unrecognizable. I had lost all control of the picture. 

 Losing control brings a brush too aggressive, quick and desperate strokes of repair and recovery. The picture must be maintained at all costs for it is all that we know. We dare not imagine something different. We lie to ourselves saying we are open to change but discover in the interruptions that we really are insecure about anything other than what we know - anything other than what we want. If this is not your story it is mine. I have held tightly to the picture and become aware of my great desperation to see the picture that I created. The picture that I had control over…but what about the picture that God has control over? 

 Giving up control is one of most terrifying and challenging postures to take as a human being. Society tells us that we have control over our destinies. Movements, influencers, education, employment all tell us that we have the power to be whatever we want to be. It only takes time, dedication and determination. They may not be entirely wrong but as a believer in Jesus Christ I believe they are missing this: that we are not really in control of our lives - God is. 

 God is the ultimate authority and nothing happens without His say so. To state that God is in control of everything has stirred up buckets of controversy. Despite it though, I stand firm believing that there is a greater hope in a world where suffering endures, where darkness seems never ending and where the picture fails to come to pass. I take great comfort in knowing that when I surrender to His picture all things will work out for good. Whether I see it here on this earth, or in heavenly glory I believe that giving up control and surrendering to His will - though harder at times - is so much better. 

 God has great plans for you, to give you a hope and future. Over the last few days I have been hearing the word surrender echo in my mind. I have realized that the picture I had created for myself is not the picture God had for me for this time. Right now I find myself doing the very opposite of everything I ever wanted to do. I have been living in disappointment for too long running after the picture and wishing that things had gone differently. In this I have been missing out on what has been right in front of me, and in what God wants to do next in my life. I take great comfort today knowing that even if my picture is non-existent, His picture is what matters greatly. I am dedicated to seeking out His will and not my own - even if that means I never get what I have hoped for. This life is not about me - contrary to what society tells us. This life is about bringing Him glory.

 I share this with you to encourage anyone of you who finds themselves in a position that is described by disappointment. Perhaps your life does not look the way you planned. Perhaps covid has thrown a wrench in the direction you were going, or someone let you down. Perhaps you're in need of a miracle and you're feeling worn out from hoping. What is your picture? Think about it, and now pray about it. Surrender it to God and choose this day to trust Him, His timing, and His goodness. He will never fail you.

 “For when I give up, I gain 

When I let go of having my own way 

When I learn to see my surrender as a brand new start 

To know the fullness of my father's heart 

 So here's my life to take 

Though you've heard this prayer a thousand other days 

Make this moment more than just empty words I say 

Let it be a start 

To know the fullness of my father's heart 

 Take my life and let it be 

Consecrated Lord, to thee” 

 - Laura Story