Battles

Life is a constant battle. In this last week the reality that we are always at war has become more real to me. By this I mean that we have an enemy that is out there set to destroy us. He places obstacles in our way, whether that be obstacles in our faith or in our lives that hinder us from feeling happiness.

In this last week I have been pushing against fatigue as the things I cannot avoid in life swarm around me. Physically and Spiritually there has been a tug for rest, and although my physical body is failing to recover I have been learning to find rest in the word of the Lord with my soul. My mind has been trying to wrap around the many things I need to do, and also around the doubts and fears that have risen. In the last few months I have been praying about my purpose in life - God where do you want me? Is this where you want me to go? Through people and times of quiet with him, God has been confirming these questions, but that has not stopped doubt and fear to rise within me. Questions like, is this really where He is taking me? Am I just telling myself this is where I need to go? Am I only hearing the things I want to hear? What if I go into this and I cannot do it? What will I do when the circumstances become unbearable?

To top off these question I have been fighting that spiritual battle against the enemy as he throws threats and lies at me. I was finding myself living in fear of what is to come. What if I am hurt? What if I am alone? What if something happens to me? What if God lets it happen? I feel so weak. I reached a point where if I was not spending time seeking his face and in his presence I was in a pit of sadness and fear. I feared the people around me and the thoughts of failure and pain were overwhelming me. 

As I spent time reading through the book of Isaiah I happened to land on these verses:

' "To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One. Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing. 

'Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God"

'Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and will not faint.'

I realized that in the midst of my fear and my doubt I needed to look to the father. The plans that the enemy holds against me will not stand because I am protected and sheltered under the wing of my heavenly father. 

Life is a constant battle. We are always fighting against the enemy but only because until Christ returns he is constantly scheming and manipulating humanity, not because he has the upper hand. We must never forget that Satan has already been defeated when Jesus died on the cross for us out of love. We have been raised to new life with him and given the gift of his Spirit and because of this we walk in his victory. All Satan does is talk, but he can do nothing more. He knows he has lost the war but that doesn't mean he is giving up without a fight. 

Don't quit. Keep fighting the good fight, but while the battle rages ask God to hold your arms high like Hur and Aaron held up Moses' arms in the battle against the Amalekites when he grew tired (Exodus 17:8-15). He is our strength and victor. We are covered by the blood of the savior, and in the midst of your doubt and fear remember that, you too, are victorious.